Really officer, I'm a denturist!!
As with many professionals I have two personas, one the consummate professional dental practitioner, and then my more relaxed home life. Some times these two lives cross paths with little concern other times I hang my head low and hope that I do not get recognized. One of these times was about two Christmases ago. It seems that my wife had been out driving our truck and had been given a notice to appear from one of our local police officers as she had a brake light that was burnt out. With the mad rush before Christmas we had completely forgotten about the impending date to prove repairs had indeed been done. By Boxing Day as family and friends made their way home we came across the notice and realized the due date was today
After some hasty repairs my wife offered to take the truck down to the police station and have it inspected, but being a man thing, truck repairs and all, I replied "No that is okay I will do it myself." When I arrived at the police station the door was locked but there was a phone that you could page an officer with. I was informed that someone would be along shortly to unlock the door for me. At this point a fairly scruffy looking fellow walked up and recognized me immediately, it seems I had made some dentures for him some years back and he was very grateful and pleased with the service I had provided. He then began to relate his own story for being there in regards to assaulting his girlfriend. Apparently he had a fair history of violent altercations, and had been released from jail two days ago. As he carried on I couldn't help but feel a little like Arlo Guthrie "sittin on the group W bench." At any rate he was there to try and clear up a matter of a restraining order that seemed to have him more than a little teed off. When the station door was unlocked, we both went on in and I was more than happy to let him go first, as he did seem awful worked up. As soon as he reached the reception window he absolutely blew his top and for a good five minutes an incredibly patient police officer held him at bay.
Every now and then the officer would glance my way perhaps wondering if the two of us had come in together and it was at this point that I noticed that I was also in fairly scruffy attire more fit for the farm than out in public. Feeling a little uneasy I took a couple of steps back. At this point the police officer went off into the back, perhaps to get reinforcements. During this interlude this patient began again to dialogue with me about all manner of criminal goings on. Just in time for the returning police officer to find us chatting. The debate between the officer and client came to a head, when it was suggested that if he was unhappy he could be arrested right now and thrown back in jail. At this point my patient decided to leave venting all manner of fowl language, but not forgetting to say good-bye to me on his way out the door. The officers gaze rose sharply to me,
"Can I help you?"
Well at this point I mustered the most perfect English and expanded vocabulary I could trying desperately to divorce myself from the previous proceedings. I was informed that the officer at the next window would be able to help me. I provided details of my crime and offered up my vehicle for inspection to which the officer replied no need I am sure you have it repaired. My male pride was slightly dented as she would not come and examine my fine handiwork. I then provided her my license and insurance as she had requested. Feeling like this whole ordeal was about to be over, I wiped away the beads of sweat that had been forming the last fifteen minutes. When slowly the officer looked up in to my eyes and said, "Mr. Lewis your driver's license has expired I am going to have to confiscate it."
So there I was on Boxing Day at the police station, scruffy clothes, no drivers license, and feeling every bit like a criminal. I phoned my wife, who was unable to contain her laughter, to please come rescue me before I ran into any more of my patients.